Should we stop cutting our grass to help wildlife? from in week Watch Video

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✓ Published: 02-May-2024
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No Mow May has been a growing movement hoping to get people to put off cutting their grass for a few more weeks into may to help wildlife flourish for as long as possible. There are millions of gardens in Wales alone, so if everyone decided to wait until June to cut their grass, it could be a massive help to wildlife all across the country.<br/>

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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. &#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn&#39;t interested in beginning an affair with the woman. &#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. 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I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.&#60;br/&#62;&#60;br/&#62;“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. 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