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Renita Alane
Renita Alane
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_92.webp "A married man says he became âobsessedâ with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it âwasnât his faultâ.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as âlimerenceâ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say theyâre happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couplesâ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: âIt wasnât a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but weâve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>âIt was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>âI think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>âBut itâs all about forgiveness, weâve done the work and are happier than ever.â<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was âbesottedâ by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>âIâve had crushes before,â he added. âWe both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.â<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about âobsessive loveâ - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: âI thought, 'jeez, this is what Iâve got to a T.'<br/><br/>âSomethingâs not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>âI kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>âThe moment Iâd wake up, Iâd rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>âIâd experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didnât.<br/><br/>âIt was like an intermittent reward.â<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasnât going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couplesâ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: âDavid told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dadâs funeral.<br/><br/>âI was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: âOh, for godâs sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?â<br/><br/>âMy dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>âWe went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.â<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she âfinally had the brain capacityâ to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadnât acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldnât âconsummateâ the crush.<br/><br/>âDavid reached out to me,â Ruth said. âHe asked me, âplease help me understand whatâs going on.â<br/><br/>âHe was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, âI donât want to throw away what weâve got.â<br/><br/>âI told him to sit in the confusion, and Iâd do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>âBut I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.â<br/><br/>David said: âWe started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isnât an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>âI was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people donât set out to have an affair.â<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to âhealâ from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldnât speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: âIt was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>âThey were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>âWe thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you donât throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>âEven when youâre talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.â")
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_john-swinney-acceptance-speech.webp "John Swinney acceptance speech<br/><br/>What are the key challenges facing John Swinney as First Minister and SNP leader?<br/>Mr Swinney was confirmed as the new leader of the SNP on Monday<br/><br/>John Swinney will not have his troubles to seek. The new SNP leader, who will become Scotlandâs seventh first minister this week, inherits a number of problems both in his party and in the country at large. He will be all too aware of the difficulties ahead.<br/><br/>His predecessor, Humza Yousaf, never really managed to get on the front foot. Within days of him taking office last year, the police investigation into the SNPâs funding and finances exploded into the headlines. It has haunted the party ever since.<br/><br/>Mr Swinney will seek to heal internal divisions and boost his partyâs fortunes in the polls ahead of an expected general election later this year. He has also emphasised the importance of economic growth. So what are the key challenges he faces?<br/><br/>A clear vision<br/>Mr Swinney will want to set out a clear strategic direction for his party. This is something his predecessor arguably struggled to do. Mr Yousaf hiked income tax for higher earners at the same time as freezing council tax, which some saw as sending a muddled message.<br/><br/>âIs this a guy who has demonstrated clear strategic direction?\")
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_heart-beat-best-moments-3.webp "No matter how a terrible place the world is, there is always someone who proves that the good always wins. Maybe thatâs the first and only chance given by a fate that has never been fair to you. The name of that chance that will change the fate of eighteen-year-old high school student Eylul (Oyku Karayel) is Ali Asaf Denizoglu (Gokhan Alkan). The story begins in a high school of a town in the Aegean region. After the two part ways, they cross paths again on the roof of Istanbulâs best hospital! The young brain surgeon Eylul tells her story while she gives a good beating to a group of bullies who raids the hospitalâs emergency room. She was a rebellious girl who had changed schools many times and whom teachers didnât want to deal with. Even when her father picked her up from the last school she got expelled from and beat her very bad, she did not shed a single teardrop. However, that day her whole life changes; the prayer of her grandmother, who ran a small hostel in Marmaris and opened her house to Eylul brings a miracle. \")
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